Mystery Fusion Theater 3000
by TrueBlueSpark
Summary: Can you guess which anime series are fused together in each of these short stories? Idea definitely not stolen from Brian Randall, no siree. [NEW: Episodes 1 through 3]
1. Welcome to legendary training ground

**Note:** Disclaimer below the story, to preserve the surprise. This's my first "mystery fusion", following in the proud footsteps of Brian Randall (do a Google search on "brian randall" for his web site, since I can't seem to get FF.net to show a URL). One of the two series is a little obscure, I think (the other will be incredibly obvious from the first line). I hope you enjoy it.

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"Welcome to legendary training ground, Jusenkyou!" The guide enthusiastically waved his arms to indicate the expansive valley full of natural springs, as if the troop of high-schoolers from Japan could have missed it. "Is more than one hundred springs here, and each one have own tragic legend. Follow me, and be careful of spring. Very dangerous if fall in."

It was the second day of the field trip to China, and the girl was not enjoying a moment of it. First of all, her best friend was sick and hadn't been able to come. Evidently the gods felt that didn't make her miserable enough, because since the trip began, several boys in her class had continually pestered her -- well, that wasn't fair. They were okay guys, as far as that went. It was just that most of them continually flirted with her -- errgh -- they could go jump in a spring for all she cared.

If they kept it up, it was only a matter of time before she started breaking people's bones. How much jail time would that get her? It might just be worth it.

The most annoying boy of all apparently realized she'd been alone for more than twenty seconds. He leapt up from behind her, singing, "Come to these arms, my love!"

"Get lost, you moron!" She spun to deliver a paralyzing slap to his face -- and her foot slipped in the mud and slid out from under her. Her arms flailed for a split second in an incredibly useless attempt at keeping her out of the spring below.

Hearing the splash, the horrified guide ran over, shouting, "Oh, honorable customer! You fall into Nannichuan, 'Spring of Drowned Boy'!"

The girl surfaced, gasping, and noticed that she was -- he -- he was a boy! "What -- I -- what -- how?!" he stammered, patting at his suddenly flat chest.

The guide reached down and helped him out of the pool. "Young boy fall into spring and drown 1700 years ago. Very tragic story. Now anyone who fall in spring take body of boy."

The boy was understandably shocked. "Are you serious? I've really been turned into a guy?"

"Yes, curse is permanent. Hot water return you to normal form, but cold water make you boy again. Very sorry."

Meanwhile, the boy who'd nearly been slapped a few moments ago decided this was an opportune moment to faint.

"I'm a guy. I'm really a guy. This... This is --" he leapt into the air enthusiastically -- "This is fantastic!!"

"Eh?" The guide was rather nonplussed. "You... happy to be cursed?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I am! I can't believe -- I gotta tell -- 'scuse me. Have you got a phone I can use?"

"Yes, is in my house. Feel free." The guide shook his head as the boy ran off. "Aiyah... I never see anyone so enthusiastic about curse before."

Inside the house, the girl-turned-boy (secretly boy-turned-girl-turned-boy) wielded his phone card and swiftly dialed. "... Hi, Miki? ... It's me, Megumi! I've got great news!"

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**Author's Note**

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, whereas Tenshi na Konamaiki belongs to Nishimori Hiroyuki. Although I could be wrong.

I was halfway through writing this spamfic when I suddenly thought of a much funnier way to do it. The original version involved Ranma and Megumi getting into an argument, and there wasn't really much of a punchline. This, though, I could see being turned into a full story. Megumi would most likely want to stay a boy all the time, despite the fact that everyone remembers him as a her.

Wait, don't leave yet! There's four more paragraphs to go after this line of dashes!

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**Omake**

Two high-school girls with short black hair walked down the sidewalk, engaged in an animated conversation. There was nothing strange about it at all, provided you didn't get close enough to hear their words.

"I just hate listening to him complain. You know, Akane? It's like he thinks being a girl is inherently worse than being a boy."

"Believe me, I know exactly what you mean, Miki. And how about when he looks better in your clothes than you do?"

Their conversation faded away as the two founding members of the newly-formed "Friends of Boys-turned-Girls Society" walked on.

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_Mystery Fusion Theater 3001  
4/14/2003 -- Completed_


	2. There, the pit was finally finished

**Note:** Disclaimer below the story, to preserve the surprise.

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There, the pit was finally finished. A cube about 20 feet to a side should be sufficient. The man was exhausted from digging, but he shifted the leftover dirt into a neat pile before collapsing and dropping his shovel. What was the next step? Oh, of course, collect the cats.

As the man tracked down all the stray felines he'd seen around the city, he thought back to the manual of martial arts techniques he'd discovered. Amazing that the owner of that old antique bookshop had been so willing to part with such an amazing instruction book. Some of the techniques described sounded incredible... the _Neko-ken_ most of all.

The cat was such a dextrous creature. Dangerous when it wished to be, soft and cuddly otherwise, always in control... It was not a coincidence that the phrase "feline grace" had become a cliché. To have the power of a cat would be to embody the very principles of martial arts. And soon the boy would do just that. Rather fitting, really. He'd prove to the family how strong he could truly be.

The man dropped the last cat into the pit and dropped a wooden plank over it. The addition of a large boulder ensured that the cats would not escape. Now, all that remained was to buy the fish sausages, let the cats starve for a few days, and the _Neko-ken_ would be within their reach.

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"Are you sure about this?"

"Trust me, boy. When have I ever led you astray? Now just hold still while I wrap these around you..."

"What's this technique called again?"

"The _Neko-ken_. Fitting, don't you think?"

"Very funny. So what've I gotta do?"

"You'll figure it out." And with that, the man slapped the boy on the back, just hard enough to knock him off balance.

"Hey!! What --"

The meat-wrapped child dropped down into the darkness... and the man listened and waited...

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"And what, I ask again," Sohma Kyou asked the cats rhetorically, "am I supposed to be doing down here?"

The cats regarded him pleasantly, chewing on the sausages, but had no answer.

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**Author's Note**

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, whereas Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. I think.

I had another R½/FB fusion idea, involving Haru and Kagura eloping, but the time frame wasn't even remotely close to working out, and I didn't feel like throwing in random time travel, so I scrapped it. I'll just let you in on the punchline here: they named their kid "Ryouga".

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_Mystery Fusion Theater 3002  
4/14/2003 -- Completed_


	3. Kagome ran

**Note:** Disclaimer below the story, to preserve the surprise. Of the three I've posted today, I'm happiest with this one.

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Kagome ran. She wasn't particularly enjoying it, but the alternative was death, so it really wasn't a difficult choice. The hideous centipede demon thing followed her down the dirt path, writhing and shrieking about the jewel it thought she had.

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_Deep in the forest, a fifty-year-old seal felt a sudden surge of power from all sides..._

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She had to lead it back to the dry well. That was what Kaede-obaasan said, right? She could make it. She had to. The demon wanted her, and she couldn't let it hurt anyone trying to get to her.

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_The seal weakened; a wide yellow eye opened for the first time in half a century..._

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The demon struck just behind her, throwing up a huge cloud of dirt, and she tumbled off the path and into the forest. Barely still on her feet, she wracked her brain, trying to remember which direction the well was in...

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_"Why am I awake?" a voice asked. A pause. "...She's here. The woman who killed me..."_

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Kagome was getting nearer. She was almost at the Goshinboku tree that she remembered from home -- she could find the well from here! Maybe she could even get back home, if she could make it in time.

The centipede creature lashed out at her, knocking her legs out from under her. She scooted around to face it, but she knew it was too late, the demon was too fast for her, she was --

Suddenly she felt hands on her shoulders, pulling her out of the demon's reach, until a warm body was against her back. From behind her a fist shot out on an absurdly long arm and struck the demon's face, knocking its torso to the ground.

Kagome turned around to see two piercing yellow eyes glaring at her. The boy grinned, coincidentally giving her a glance at his sharp fangs. "What's the matter, Kikyo?" he asked. "You lose your edge or something?"

It was him, the boy she'd seen pinned to the tree when she first arrived in this time -- only now he was awake. He wore a strange dark red kimono with very short sleeves and loose shorts the same color. His limbs were thin but muscular; his short, messy hair was a beautiful shade of silver with a bluish tint. And incongruously resting atop his head was a yellow straw hat with a red strap around it.

Several dozen feet away, having finally caught up, Kaede cursed under her breath. This was a terrible day, indeed -- first the Ichi no Tama had apparently returned, and now... Gomuyasha was awake.

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**Author's Note**

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, whereas One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda. More or less.

Man, I cannot for the life of me remember what inspired this crossover. However the concept came to me, though, I'm glad it did. I think it'd be really fun to replace brooding, temperamental Inuyasha with forgiving, cheerful Luffy for a while. I'm probably not going to be the one to write it, though. Maybe I'll just do a scene or two the next time I'm struggling with writer's block. (Example: Gomuyasha taking a whole day to figure out that Kagome != Kikyo)

And because the idea struck me, here's a quick glance at what might be an even more fitting fusion...

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**Omake**

"Listen, I don't know any 'Kuina' person! My name is Tashigi! Ta-shi-gi!"

"Feh, you're not her after all," Zoroyasha scoffed. "Kuina was cuter. And better with a sword."

"Grrrrr..."

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_Mystery Fusion Theater 3003  
4/14/2003 -- Completed_


End file.
